Human’s have a primal need to be consistent.
We’re all wired to avoid hypocrisy - as social creatures, it’s gives us a better chance for survival. For example, if someone signs a petition about the importance of voting, they are more likely to vote. (Learn more about the consistency principle in Influence by Dr. Robert Cialdini.)
So when I started writing “Chapter 2: Writing with Empathy,” this week, I immediately noticed all the ways I was breaking my own principle.
Writing with empathy is hard.
It’s easier to be selfish and write only for yourself. Of course there’s a place for this, but not in the public domain - and especially not if you’re a founder.
Even as I write this newsletter, I have to remind myself to remember my readers.
Kerri. Bob. Deb. Mike. Raj.
I have to remember that this isn’t a place for me to vent or work out my feelings. You’re here to see a book being created - and maybe learn a little about writing in the process.
Six Questions to Become a More Empathetic Writer
Like archery, the best way to write with empathy is to keep your eye on the target: your reader. Ask yourself these 6 questions before starting any piece:
Who is my reader?
What do they want?
What do they NEED?
What stands in their way?
How can I help?
Why should they care?
1. Who is my reader?
Writing is a team sport - it’s you and your reader vs. The World. It’s important to know as much about your teammate as possible: who they are, what they’re about, and what they want.
We tend to write to the masses, assuming the entire internet is going to see our work. That’s not empathy - that’s narcissism. To be empathetic, you need to write to ONE person. Ideally, someone you actually know.
Put their name at the top of the page. Don’t forget to include your teammate in every thought, every sentence, and every word. It’s you two vs. The World.
2. What do they want?
You’re aspirational. If you weren’t, you’d be dead by now. Humans are born to dream, and it kept our ancestors searching for a better life.
Figure out what your reader aspires to. What’s their ideal vision of the future? What would it mean for them to reach it?
Good writing educates and informs - GREAT writing inspires action. Write to your the most aspirational version of your reader.
3. What do they NEED?
As I said, writing is a team sport. It’s important to know your teammate’s highest hopes AND their deepest motivations. What does your reader need?
Motivations can range from survival to comfort to social acceptance. You shouldn’t always explicitly play to your reader’s needs, but it’s critical to understand them. It will shine through implicitly in your writing. It’s like you saying, “I know you. We’re on the same page.”
4. What stands in their way?
You know what your reader wants and what they need. Now, what could stop them from reaching their highest aspirations, or meeting their deepest needs?
5. How can I help?
This question is an important followup to the previous one. Your reader may face a million obstacles, but focus on those areas where you can provide the biggest benefit.
For example:
Every founder has dreams of building a great company. But many need to prove their competence and find social acceptance as well. What’s standing in their way?
Well, a number of things. From competitors to payroll issues, a founder is never done slaying dragons.
What can I do to help? I’m pretty bad at spreadsheets and don’t have a lot of experience with product management. But I can help founders organize their thoughts and communicate clearly.
That’s the entire premise behind this book and newsletter. It’s important to remember your spheres of competence.
6. Why should they care?
This last question is designed to help you distill the answers from the previous 5 questions. Think of it as the thesis for your piece of writing.
Using this template, weave together your answers above into an Empathy Statement:
My reader is [name, title, experience], who wants to [aspirations] and are driven by [motivation]. I can help them with [obstacle] by teaching them [how I can help].
Here’s an example for Great Founders Write:
“My reader is Mike, an experienced sales executive and founder of a digital consulting agency, who wants to sell his company in 5 years and is driven to provide an early retirement for he and his wife. I can help him position his agency by teaching him how to share his expertise through messaging and storytelling.”
This statement gives me clarity. Now Mike and I are on the same team, and he’s going to get that early retirement. He can tell I’m rooting for him, just as he’s now rooting for me.
Empathy is still hard.
Empathy is still hard, but it gets easier when you have a process. Make it a habit to start each new piece by answering these 6 questions and create an Empathy Statement. I promise you’ll see more engagement, and maybe even win a few new friends.